My husband and I attended a wedding this weekend. An evening wedding. We had shipped the small ones off to the grandparents’ homes so that we can enjoy a “date” on someone else’s dime.
Yeah, I said it. Don’t act like you don’t go to wedding for some chicken and cake. And booze. Or that it wasn’t the high point of the evening.
We were sitting there holding hands through the ceremony. It was short, sweet, and their own. I couldn’t be happier for this couple.
Next to us, sat a couple who were maybe in their late 30′s, early 40′s. The wife cried. The husband looked annoyed and sat there like he had a rod up his blazer. She kept saying, “Aw. How sweeet!” And teared up. I looked at my own husband and said, “What’s THEIR deal?” My husband looked at me, confused, because he says I look for things that aren’t there. While that might be true, the wife was crying and the husband was too busy filming this wedding with his GIANT cellphone to reach over and hold her hand or look at her lovingly? Something was up.
When they got up, my husband had told me that while I was off mingling, she had told him her whole life story. Where they lived, she had two daughters, etc. We ate and then had a few drinks and went outside. These two were out there sitting at another table and they were talking. I heard something about how his having other women around wasn’t part of the “arrangement.” Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Now it all made sense. This thing here was an arrangement. A commitment to their arrangement.
I couldn’t help but feeling sad for both of them. When we sat and watched this wedding, my husband and I felt stronger. We remembered our own wedding. When they watched this wedding, what did this couple feel? Sadness? Disgust? Like they too were once in love, but now felt betrayed and tricked?
Look, I’m no fool………I realize that there are alot of these arrangements floating around as far as marriage is concerned. Yes, people get divorced; they also can come to an understanding. I KNOW THIS HAPPENS. I’m sure it used to happen MORE. My marriage is no piece of cake itself, it is WORK. All relationships are work. I just wonder how worth it is to be committed to a marital arrangement versus being committed to a marriage?
If other people have opinions, I would like to hear them.